Moving On From A Long-term Relationship

My oldest brother recently went through his second divorce, but fortunately, he did not make the same mistake during that eight-year relationship as he did in the first: tattoo his arm and back with tributes to his first wife.

Now, my brother pursued many pieces of body art after those initial tattoos, so they didn’t seem out of the ordinary, but after that marriage came to its tragic end, he was stuck with painful reminders on his very skin. This is simply one complication that can come after the end of a relationship that has lasted many years. So how can you get your life back on track?

Well, first off, if you made the same mistake my brother did, then it’s a good idea to investigate tattoo removal services in your area. Find a clinic that uses proven technology and staff with plenty of experience. In the past, having a tattoo removed could leave extensive scarring, but advances in the field have made results much smoother and more desirable. Don’t be afraid to schedule a consultation with a professional to have your specific questions answered.

Just because you want to have your tattoo wiped off your skin permanently doesn’t mean you need to be rash and dump every gift s/he has ever given, every memento, every sign that s/he was ever in your life. If the pain is too raw to allow you to make a decision right now, then pack it all away and tuck it back in the closet or put it into a storage unit. This person was a part of your life for a long time; erasing the evidence won’t change that.

You will move on eventually, but do so at your own pace. You may have a slew of friends that try to set you up, thinking you’ll be fine once you find a new romance, but be firm and clear about how you feel about this. You may even want to see a counselor to help you sort out your feelings and the next steps you need to take as you move forward with your life.
Branch out. You may shy away from hobbies that kept you occupied as a couple, which is natural, so you should explore new activities–social or not–that you can enjoy on your own. Doing so may even lead to dating opportunities in the future, but don’t go looking for new hobbies with that express purpose in mind.

The death of a long-term relationship is hard, so it’s normal to grieve. But don’t let that mourning stunt your growth as a person. See this as an opportunity to redefine yourself, and it can turn out to be a good experience in the long run.

Toxic Marriages 4 Signs That Your Relationship Is Toxic

A happy, fulfilling, romantic relationship is something many people desire and attempt to bring into their lives. A marriage in particular is an important relationship most people work very hard to protect. If both partners are committed, put forth effort, and are reasonably balanced emotionally, a successful union is definitely within reach. However, there are certain dynamics that might exist within a marriage or other intimate relationship that make a healthy union very unlikely. When certain behavior patterns cause destruction and emotional pain for one or both partners, the relationship becomes a toxic one. Here are 4 signs that your relationship is toxic:

1. There is abuse in the relationship. This may be physical or emotional abuse, and both are very damaging. If you are living with or fear the threat of physical abuse, this is a very dangerous situation. Physical abuse often escalates over time, and it is important to contact a domestic violence shelter or counselor specializing in this particular issue for specific help. There is an increased risk for harm at the time of leaving a physically abusive relationship, and it is important to create an appropriate safety plan for getting out. Emotional abuse is a pattern of criticism, punishment, and controlling behavior that causes emotional damage to the victim, and increases feelings of inferiority, incompetence, and is crazy making for the victimized partner.

2.Your husband or partner is actively abusing drugs and alcohol, and refuses to accept help or treatment for the problem. This is a very difficult situation, but the truth is that your partner is putting you and your needs in the relationship as a lower priority than achieving the next high or drink. The influence of an addictive use of substances makes it very difficult for your partner to be fully present and giving in the relationship. It can become a trap to be caught up in managing the various crises that come about in your partner’s life as a result of the substance abuse, and neglecting your own needs. Your husband or partner’s potential financial and/or legal problems resulting from the addiction can cause you serious issues as well. Your safety may even be put at risk if, for example, you get in a car with your partner after he or she has been drinking.

3.There is repeated adultery or affairs in your marriage or relationship. An affair can become a catalyst for better communication and accountability between partners and strengthen the relationship, provided both partners recommit and do not continue the adulterous behaviors. However, if the betrayals continue, there is no real foundation to rebuild trust or intimacy. In addition to the emotional pain of the betrayed spouse, there is the risk of physical illness and even death if you are intimate with someone who is not monogamous with you.

4.Your husband or partner has a personality disorder, like narcissism or sociopathy. These disorders have a specific set of symptoms, but the results can be similar for the non-disordered partner bewilderment, confusion, and hurt over the destructive actions of your partner. Unfortunately, there is little in the way of effective treatments for these disorders at this time, and the disordered partner rarely acknowledges that there is a problem to begin with. This makes the prospect for change very small.

Relationship Myths, Misconceptions And Mistakes

We all hold onto a lot of myths about what the perfect relationship is meant to be like and I, like pretty much everyone else, blames the media. I rarely see a realistic portrayal of a relationship on TV or on film. So what are the top five myths that keep you from enjoying a happy, healthy relationship?

1. Relationships are easy – well…no. They aren’t. That’s not to say they’re difficult either but lots of people seem to think that once you’ve found a partner then the hard part’s over. If you want your relationship to flourish you are going to have to tend to it. I feel an icky metaphor coming on here, but let’s just go with it relationships are like a garden. You wouldn’t dream of planting seeds and saplings in a garden and then leaving it, going on nothing but faith and hope that it would blossom into something stunning. Gardens need to be watered, weeded and pruned regularly. It’s the same with relationships.

2. My partner and I should see eye-to-eye on everything – why? The two of you are different, discreet entities with your own thoughts and feelings. You aren’t two halves of the same whole. Believing that you should both have the same views on things means you both become diminished. There’s nothing more sad than seeing someone who was vibrant and alive with opinions vanish when they enter a relationship, morphing into the person they’re dating. It’s OK to disagree on things with your partner, the key is learning how to manage those disagreements through effective, empathic communication.

3. We shouldn’t argue or row – actually, I sort of agree with this one…I don’t believe that full on shouting and slagging matches are particularly healthy but if your partner has upset you and you simply bottle it up and allow resentment to fester instead of having a constructive conversation about what’s caused you to be upset, you’re allowing a fear of confrontation to get in the way of pursuing a health relationship. Disagreements happen, your partner will upset you and you will upset your partner, of this you can be assured. But not talking about it will cause the resentment to erode your relationship.

4. Our relationship should be like…my parent’s/my bestfriend’s/how it is in the movies – comparing yourself to others is fastest route to unhappiness. You’ll never see what goes on behind closed doors in other people’s relationships, so don’t make assumptions based on your limited observations. Looking outside of yourself to find happiness is always destined to cause you heartache, you are the only person who’s responsible for your emotions, I would encourage you to pay attention to what makes you happy, give up second guessing yourself by looking at what others have and focus instead on learning about you and what makes you thrive.

5. I shouldn’t have to tell my partner what’s wrong, s/he should just know by now – whoa! Hold up a minute! If your partner does just know what you want/why you’re upset/that you’d like him (or her) to try some different moves in bed then you happen to be going out with the world’s only psychic! Your partner is not telepathic nor is he/she psychic. It doesn’t matter if you’ve been going out for months or years, you are as much of an enigma to them as they are to you. And if you reverse this statement, you’ll realise how ridiculous it sounds do you just know what’s wrong with your partner by now. I doubt it. Try and remember to be respectful towards your partner by teaching them “you”. You are always changing and growing and evolving…perhaps you need to update your partner with the most up to date information!

Love And Relationship Issues For Couples

Are you inside a committed wholesome sentimental association that is handy for you, as well as the one you cherish. Affection and connections are to get made for forever, not just a couple of days. Investigate getting your life a ton more charming and deliberate by knowing how to act in terms of those you tend to.

The best thing to do inside a sentimental organization is to care for the accomplice’s wishes in front of your own. Getting caring could be the center of what adoration is about. In case you’re having issues with self centredness you have to manage them proficiently preceding getting into a marriage or different genuine individual relationship. Why drag an extra man or lady into your issues? In the occasion you really need to help them, you’ll need to place them before yourself. This infers benevolent tribute. Self centered people are unquestionably not prepared to make presents for other individuals. In the event that you are like this, spare the man or lady you claim to revere the torment of uncovering your issues.

An alternate paramount component of adoration and connections emerges as the neglected righteousness of responsibility. The world can make it troublesome for a fellow and a woman to keep the dedication of sacred marriage. Inside the United states you’re actually compelled to pay considerably a larger number of duties in case you’re wedded than in the occasion you simply live together. Yet what does “shacking up” tell the world? It indicates the world you are searching for the fervor and focal points of marriage with no dedication. Once more, this is narrow minded. Bear in mind; adoration isn’t egotistical. Do the right thing. On the off chance that you ever positively wish to live for somebody you think about, make an open responsibility of marriage and get the numerous profits of an agreeable still, small voice the whole time.

Should you be looking to get hitched to end your being forlorn, this is a conceited reason. Is it accurate to say that you are going into a marriage to make yourself more content? What number of individuals are doing this extremely thing and making their lives and also the lives of others disagreeable simultaneously? Affection and connections are considered to be commonly satisfying to both parties. On the off chance that one side happens to have illogical desires, it could be a ticking time shell of feelings. What comes to fruition when both gatherings have implausible desires? This truly is an equation for disappointment. At the point when getting into paramount individual connections, its incredible to have totally open channels of correspondence. You will need to examine all the desires you have and the other half ought to additionally. The statement “all” is underlined in that last sentence. Cash, love, what’s to come, kids and whatever viable discriminating point must be brought out into the light and evidently discussed. Getting transparent and truthful may be the best approach seeing someone.

Adoration and connections are, no doubt held in incredible appreciation when they are seen inside the obligations of marriage. This sentimental relationship could be the holding fabric of mankind. In the event that you destroy it, you aren’t performing anyone some help. About three of five relational unions inside the USA are coming up short, according to accessible information. Don’t be a giver of this break down of the societal structure.

Should you be not one to keep your assertion, particularly in sacred marriage, it could respect stay out of the sentimental relationship. Clean up your life. Develop to be the person that other individuals can demonstrate their presence around. Later on, enter into an uncommon sentimental relationship that can make the other singular the object of criticalness. Be non narrow minded and develop to be fulfilled and substance.

How Good Communication Skills Help Make Your Relationship Succeed

All couples fight. Yes, even couples who seem to be in an ideal relationship do fight sometimes. Both partners must realize the fact that there’s no perfect relationship. By setting realistic expectations, couples can avoid getting frustrated with their relationship. Experts say that identifying problems early can increase the chance of successfully weathering relationship storms.

Relationship problems are no match for their love for each other, according to successful partners. Marriage success or living together successfully really depends on both partners being determined to solve relationship problems together. If both parties are determined to make your life together work, each one would exert effort to make the relationship a success.

For most couples, learning how to solve relationship problems is often learned by trial and error. Self-help books that discuss how to maintain healthy relationships may help you too. To help strengthen their relationship, some couples attend marriage counseling sessions. You can get useful tips from seminars and by reading articles published online. You can show your partner that you are determined to make your relationship a success by exerting conscious effort in learning how to keep your love for each other alive.

The inability to communicate well is one of the most common problems among partners. Some experts even say that all problems in a romantic relationship can be attributed to the lack of communication skills. Fortunately, there are ways to improve communication between couples. Taking time to talk with each other is an easy first step. That means that you won’t be watching TV or checking your email while talking. Actually spend some time together conversing without thinking of other worries. Put your children to bed early and don’t mind the phone. And then just talk. Devoting time in order that you and your significant other can converse can help you revitalize your relationship in wonderful ways.

Communicating is a two-way process and carefully listening is a crucial part of it. Make sure you listen to your partner when he or she is talking. You can learn a lot about the other persons’ behavior by simply listening. Repeat what your partner said using your own word so you understand better. Your partner will be able to give you feedback if you didn’t get anything he or she said correctly.

A marriage counselor can help you in various ways to improve your relationship including helping you communicate more effectively. By contacting a specialist even you feel the trouble is not really that important, you can prevent the problem from becoming worse.

Trust Is A Key To Building Healthy Relationships

One of the keys to building healthy relationships is to establish a good level of trust as trust is the foundation that a relationship is built on. If there is not a good foundation of trust, there is potential for challenges and strains at some point in the relationship.

House Analogy
One way to see the importance of a foundation of trust is to look at an analogy of a relationship being like a house as every house is built on a foundation. The foundation for a house is typically a slab of concrete. This slab is thick, it is strong, and it should be very level and flat. By having a good, strong foundation, the house that is built will be strong and be able to last year after year.

On the other hand, you could build the most beautiful house, but if it is not resting on a strong foundation, it can fall apart when it experiences different challenges and it is more likely to not last as long. Whether it experiences normal wear and tear, or possibly extreme weather or environmental conditions, there is a stronger probability for the house to fall apart and for cracks to appear.

The same tendency can occur with relationships. Regardless of how perfect the couple appears to fit and look together, if there is not a solid foundation of trust, there can be challenges. These may not arise for some time as even if there is not trust, there could be enough passion and momentum to keep a relationship together in the short-term. But at some point when challenges or changes are experienced, the missing foundation can cause some cracks in the relationship.

Creating Trust
If it is acknowledged that trust is important for having healthy relationships, then we need to figure out how to establish and create trust. The first thing to understand is that trust is a very fragile thing. It can take a long time to create and it can be completely wiped out with one fail swoop.

That being said, here are some areas where attention can be placed to create and establish trust.

Honesty: Honesty is probably the key ingredient in creating trust. Finding ways to display your honesty to others will eliminate the chances of them thinking that you are dishonest. This will increase the level of trust that others have with you and will have a direct impact on your ability to have healthy relationships.

Communication: Having an open line of communication is key to having trust. If you don’t freely communicate, then there is uncertainty as to what is not being communicated. This can have a negative impact on trust. On the other side of that, knowing that there is very open communication will take away some uncertainty and will help to establish more trust.

Respect: Displaying that you respect other people will help to create trust. This includes your respect for them as a person, their time, their feelings, their belongings, etc. If you truly have a high-level of respect for the other people, there should be no question as to your loyalty, reliability, and dependability. This will create the trust others have for you, which should help to improve the trust you have for them and this will help to create healthy relationships.

Understand: As Dr. Stephen Covey writes about, you should seek to understand in order to be understood. This concept revolves around understanding where others are coming from in order for others to understand your position and where you are coming from. By embracing this concept and effectively communicating to others that you understand them, you will build more trust.

Ending A Relationship – 6 Tips To Make It Kinder And Smoother

Ending a relationship is difficult to do. Nevertheless, you have made your very difficult decision. You are ready to follow through with it. You have known for a while that things have changed for the worse in your long standing relationship. It definitely is finished, and it is time for you to move on. Rather than letting your partner continue to believe that everything is okay, breaking up will be the kindest thing to do. No one can avoid the pain involved with being dumped; but continuing a dying romantic relationship will make the inevitable split typically worse.

Splitting up is hard on both parties. You both have worked hard at building a romance, and in fact it iwill be difficult for both of you to be able to let it go. Being at ease with one another, and being familiar with having each other around is not enough to remain together for the long term if that is all there is.

Here are a few ideas for ways to conclude a romantic relationship, and still continue to be a gentleman or a lady. However you make your separation announcement, if it should go poorly, be prepared to literally get out of the situation without delay. If emotions take over, there is simply no predicting the result. It is a good idea to prepare the discussion prior to the actual moment. You may want to practice your dialog in front of a mirror, or to a trusted ally.


The worst action to take is to spring a separation on your companion without warning. When you feel that the romance isn’t going to keep working, lay preparation groundwork. Ask questions which may be taken as suggestions by your lover of things to come. Wondering aloud about past romances; letting him/her find out that you need room will instill uncertainty within the head of your lover. This could possibly start your partner wondering about future of the partnership also.


Now there certainly is no right time or place to tell your lover you need to end it, but there are definitely occasions that are worse than others. Coming out with it when one of you is driving would be one of them. As is any time a possible distraction or loss of attention is likely to be calamitous. Choosing the best time and place will go a long way to allow the healing to begin following the initial impact.

IN A PUBLIC SPOT – A impulsive partner could be less likely to weep or start a quarrel in a public spot. Dining establishments are best. If a racket is created by a strong outburst in a cafe, you could get on your feet and leave your other half to handle the unpleasantness alone. This is not simple to do, nevertheless permitting a scene to drag on will inevitably make the whole process more difficult.

AT YOUR HOME – Breaking up in your place is not a good idea. Your partner may not leave and may stubbornly hang on to attempt to convince you otherwise. You cannot leave your own house, leaving your overwrought ex lover amongst everything you cherish. That would likely be destructive.

AT YOUR PARTNER’S HOME – The best reason for ending a relationship at their house is you can always leave easily when you have told your lover, and the situation turns unpleasant. It is a good idea to leave soon after you are done talking even if all goes as planned. However, in case your lover may be the emotional type of person, you are likely to fill the house with unhappy memories, which makes it considerably more difficult for him or her to deal with it.


Tell your partner precisely why the split up is necessary. Always be very specific in your reasoning. Don’t be wishy washy. Vague reasoning will simply give the impression that you are undecided, that there is a prospect of reconciliation. In the event you feel the difficulty lies with your partner, let her/him know so they can improve so not to impair their future romances. In the same way, if it is you that requires change or breathing room, let him/her know that it is not related to them.


Staying linked by keeping the other’s stuff at your house will simply send mixed signals, and will give you ex the idea that your commitment to the break up is waning or weak.


Maintaining joint checking, savings, or credit card accounts (never a good idea with an uncommitted couple) definitely results in mixed signals, and tend to be a basis for ongoing unwanted contact.


Make your ex know you need to stop all contact for an extended period of time prior to any possibility of becoming friends. Both of you require some time for cooling off and reflecting.

Ending a relationship is hard on both sides. The two ex partners should choose to do whatever necessary to reduce the suffering.

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The Secret Truths To Making A Rebound Relationship Work In Your Favour

Getting a rebound relationship to work in your favour is very important step towards getting back your ex spouse , ex boyfriend or ex girlfriend back and is even the right step towards building a better relationship with your spouse , boyfriend or girlfriend.

A rebound relationship is a relationship where your ex spouse, ex boyfriend or girlfriend or even your spouse is dating someone else in order to get over you.

Rebound relationship is meant to make people to avoid the challenges of facing a break up with their current relationship. They are meant to make people move away from the one that truly love them because of the fear of an impending break up .

Your partner or ex partner may be in a rebound relationship in order to hurt you but it does not matter who cause the break up in the first place whether it was your fault or your partner”s fault, what truly matters is that the two of you are truly in love with each other.

You need to understand first and foremost that every relationship that was founded on true love can be saved back even if your partner try to hurt you by getting into a rebound relationship and the person may be even in a wrong relationship, if you were a nice and good person, your partner may even be in a relationship with the wrong person and may still be thinking about you and what is going on in your life and relationships.

Your partner in a rebound relationship even with the new person will still be thinking about you and thinking whether it is your lifestyle or character that makes the two of you to break up in the first place and this is even the best time for you to work on your self , your character and lifestyles in order to work towards getting back your ex partner back to you.

You partner being in a rebound relationship will make you to discover what the person thinks you were not there for him or her to makes him or her to break up and get into the rebound relationship. Just work on yourself and observe things for yourself.

When your partner is in a rebound relationship, there are certain things you need not to do, they include

Do not try too much to convince him or her that you are the true love for the person ,let the person discover it by themselves and see their mistakes and they will be more willing to make amends too.

Do not blame yourself too much by telling your ex partner that you were the cause of the break up , every partner in a relationship has a part in any break up or challenges that may arise.

Do not try to convince the person it was not your fault for the break up as this will not help to save a relationship that has gone sour in any way , apportioning blames is not the best way save a relationship.

Never beg your ex partner to come back to you, just be yourself and allow the person to discover their mistakes by themselves.

Never beg and promise your ex partner that you are ready to change, rather work on yourself and be ready to correct your mistakes and your ex can only observe your changes from a distance and not by your mere promises.

You will soon discover that your partner will discover the flaws in the new person he or she has rush to start a new rebound relationship with and will even be desiring to get back together again with you. Your partner will discover that there is nobody without flaws in their lives no matter how you try to be nice to each other at the inception of a relationship but as time moves on in a relationship, one will be able to see the true person his or her partner is. This is a serious lesson in relationships that anyone needs learn from as fast as possible.

At this stage, you will discover that your ex partner, after discovering the flaws in the new partner will be desiring to get back together with you and will be desiring you back. By now you have become a better person and have discovered the mistakes you made in the relationship in the past.

As your ex partner makes the move to get back together with you , you should be ready to welcome the person back and sit the person down to discus about the future as you two are getting back together. Talk about your mistakes and let the two of you make the commitment to each other to make amends in order to build a better and healthy relationship.

Magical Things To Do To Induce Magic Into Your Relationship With Your Girlfriend!

When you know that you have found the perfect woman for you, make sure that she feels the same about you. You are crazy about her and want to make her feel happy with you, that’s why you are ready to make all the sacrifices to impress her, to show her how much you care about her, or to not permit that routine to come into your relationship.

With all this sacrifices to show her your feelings, to keep your relationship as cool as it was at the beginning, you feel that you have to make something more interesting. That is why you should induce magic into your relationship even if you are hopeless romantic or not.

To add more intimacy, love, understanding and compassion in any relationship is always welcome.

So, here are 6 magical things to do in order to impress your partner in a good way and improve your relationship with your girlfriend:

1) Surprise her by taking her lunch and coffee at bed right after she woke up; if you did not do this before she will definitely be impressed; also cooking a pizza for her and cut it in a heart shape it is very romantic; a woman will
always find interesting a man who is able to cook for her, no matter what kind of food it is; even if it would not be too tasty, she will appreciate that you have tried

2) Set up a picnic in the park; even it is an usually day, prepare all you need for a picnic, go get your girlfriend and go for a walk; do not tell her from the beginning what you plan to, let it be a surprise; a going out at a picnic in the fresh air is always welcome and relaxing

3) Send her flowers anytime and anywhere, that is unexpected; women love flowers, so sending her flowers without any reason will demonstrate her that you really care about and make her feel loved and special; the most probably that she will answer you with the same love you show her

4) Fill her apartment with balloons or something she likes, maybe it is a crazy idea, but it usually works to impress girls; it will be seen as a funny thing by your partner and remember that some fun is necessary in any relationship.

5) If you are good at writing, write her a poem, or create a book for her with a special dedication; this will definitely work if she love poems; do not begin to write a poem only if you know that you are good at it, other way you
will screw up. Reading romantic poetry in the middle of the living room on a blanket in soft candlelight is a very good way to offer your partner a wonderful evening; women are often more romantic than men, that is why they like to be surprised by men with romantic ideas

6) Massages are always magic when done right; buying different flavored edible bars to experiment with each other can be more surprising; but if you are not good at making massage, go to a spa together and get a couples massage together.

Do not be afraid to talk sweet nothings into her ear; make the woman feel good by saying sweet and romantic things to her at any given time; as i sad, women love romance, and you will see your relationship improves in no time!

Damage Control Saving A Troubled Relationship

It happens to even the best of us. Even the best of romances can fall into trouble at one point or another. Is it really a reason for despair or a matter which requires a few foolproof techniques to keep the fire burning in the way it was before?

The answer actually depends from person to person. What might work for one couple may not work for the other. Still, there are many things that can be considered as common parts of the solution to a troubled relationship.

Among these common things include good communication. Communication is the very first aspect that needs to be recovered in any troubled relationship. Surely, this is the most common cause on why couples fall apart. A series of miscommunications left untended can cause the messiest breakups and makes both parties unable to appreciate each other’s company. Being able to communicate may come by means of having enough willingness to compromise on both parties or maybe with the help of a professional (a shrink or a church counselor, perhaps).

A bit of space or huge doses of quality time may also help, whichever may be applicable. If a couple has spent too much time apart, they might need to rekindle the old flames of passion and remember what got them together in the first place. On the other hand, if they spend too much time together and leave no more room for equally vital relationships outside their union, it is also detrimental and causes friction even in the smallest things. Balance is the key in achieving a long-lasting bond.

Lifestyle changes may also be in order. The dynamics of relationship change from time to time, and it would be foolish to say that what worked for the couple in the past couple months or years will continue to work wonders for them in the future. When everything becomes a routine, it seems boring. Even the best delicacies become stale when presented in the same way everyday. To infuse the relationship with variety in the form of new activities may help remove the association that it is always there and can therefore be taken for granted.

Ultimately, the willingness of both parties to improve their relationship must be inherently present. If one wants out and the other still wants to hold it out, it is highly unlikely that efforts to reconnect will work for them. If they both gather to make things work again, it may pose some difficulty but nothing that their combined determination cannot overcome.