Most couples who had gone through a divorce ask themselves, “Why did our marriage fail? What happened to transform the romantic relationship into a messy divorce?” One killer problem is infidelity. It is important for women to have some ideas on how to stop adultery from happening.
Why do partners become unfaithful? Among the many reasons is this: “they can’t get no satisfaction, and they try,” but they don’t know how.
Also, men are biologically programmed both to be promiscuous and committed to a relationship at the same time, so emotionally infidelity’s definition for men may not even be the same as for their wives. Women talk about the fear of commitment men have without considering that men’s reluctance comes from their taking commitments very seriously.
The following are some tips for you on how to prevent cheating in a relationship and maintain an intimate relationship:
1. Share and talk things out together — You both come from different backgrounds. You cannot avoid there being some topics about which you cannot come to the same decision. You cannot read each other’s minds. If you just assume you know how each other feels, you will not be able to catch problems while they are small. Sharing dreams, ambitions, and principles in life is very important, because you have to build a shared life together. It is best started before marriage to avoid conflict. If you don’t communicate frequently, you will begin to suspect each other’s motives, and that will certainly lead to divorce.
Be gentle here. Despite its vital importance, having to communicate can make your man very uncomfortable. Men have problems talking about feelings. Men have been ridiculed while growing up for showing emotions. Sports teach winning and losing, not negotiation. If he is unskilled at negotiation, he may fear that a conflict or acknowledged disagreement MUST lead to separation. You are probably more skilled at communication than he is, and being outclassed also intimidates him.
Also, be aware that men need precise, clear communication. Men thrive in a world of concrete, physical reality. They are often oblivious to non-verbal communication. Say precisely what you need them to hear. Just be careful it is not phrased as an attack. Men defend against attacks.
2. Be open and honest — Do not hide your negatives and shortcomings while you are dating. Do not be shy. Your partner will love and marry you for what he sees in you during your dating stage. During dating, you tend to hide your negatives, and intimacy develops even if you did not reveal everything about you. You cannot hide it forever. If you betrayed his trust before he committed, you have given him a motivation to betray yours afterward.
3. Trust — Mutual trust is vital. Trust grows along with intimacy. You cannot have sex and commitment without trust. Just keep the trust. Trust your partner without any signs of doubt. Expect your partner to trust you the same way.
4. Give time to your partner — Time is more precious than money. Time is authentic: You can pretend to care; you cannot pretend to be there. Go on dates alone, without your kids. This enhances your communication level and solidifies your mutual trust. This is also a perfect time to get to know each other even better. Getting to know each other does not end when you get married. Men want a woman’s attention, and if you don’t give your partner your attention, he will be attracted to someone who does.
5. Be flexible and adjust — Conflicts of ideas and interest may come anytime. No marriage is perfect. You will need to adjust sometimes to what your partner wants. Your partner will also have to adjust to you. The flexibility and adjustment should be mutual for a lasting relationship. You each must find out the other’s most important needs and make sure they are addressed, if you don’t want the other to seek to satisfy them elsewhere.
6. Laugh and play — Share happy moments as you did during the dating stage. It is important to laugh together about simple things. Don’t let responsibilities grind you down. Sometimes we hardly notice the beautiful things happening in our environment, because we just see them every day and aspire for even more than we have. Too much ambition without appreciating and laughing and playing in your everyday life is not healthy. A man may be swept away by a woman who brings him joy NOW.
7. Repeat the steps of intimacy — Couples who repeatedly reinforce and recall the entire stages of dating and the happy progress of intimacy tend to stay together longer than those who do not. The stages of intimacy start with looking in each other’s eyes, and precede through holding hands, embracing, and petting. You must have experienced that sex is more satisfying when you prepare for it by words and looks and small touches. Going through the stages of physical intimacy prevents making love from deteriorating into just having sex.
8. Be a good woman — Men are attracted to strong femininity. A man is deeply attracted to a “good woman” who exhibits feminine grace and strength. He will try hard to be worthy of her.
These tips should help you prevent infidelity from happening by creating a relationship so satisfying that neither of you feel the need to look elsewhere.