How To Save A Relationship After A Break Up The Very First Thing You Must Immediately Do

relationship photoAre you wondering how to save a relationship after a break up. Well, if you want to get your ex back, the very first thing you must do is to probably something you do not wish to do now. And that is to cut off contact with your ex.

Why?

Well, I know this is not an easy thing to do. You will probably feel hurt about doing that and to a certain extent, your ex may feel hurt as well.

However, for the sake of the long term, it may be worthwhile doing that.

First, you are simply too emotional now to be able to effectively win back your ex. With such an emotional state of mind, it is easy for you to do silly things that will push your ex away. You need this time to recover from your broken heart.

Second, cutting off contact with your ex will not give your ex the chance to used you. What do I mean by that? Well, your ex may not want to get back with you, yet is still willing to go out with you.

They are getting the best ofboth world. They can choose not to get back with you yet still get the attention and concern you shower them with.

But cutting off contact with your ex and playing the disappearing act, you are sort of telling your ex that the only way they can get your care and concern is to be your boyfriend/girlfriemd,, not just friends.

The third reason is to allow your ex to miss you. This is also a great way to create a bit of mystery around you. You want your ex to wonder what you have been up to.

What to Do When Love-hate Relationship Happens

couple photo1. Do not hesitate to talk about what you do not like from your couple and block your feelings. This is tantamount to when you and your couple quarreled, if you want to get rid of ya first discussed all the causes until thoroughly. Your relationship is so overwhelming, fix what’s stuck in your hearts let your couple know and try to help solve it, so your relationship will be more enjoyable to live.

2. Make sure, you and your couple want to maintain this relationship. With the same desire to maintain a relationship, you should be able to understand each other and try to make it comfortable. Anything that disturbs your partner’s comfort, change it!

3. Keep romantic relationships. Do not think if you are a couple then you or your couple is no longer be romantic, for example; with little presents or surprises like yesterday’s approach time, affectionate calls to your couple, also sweet words for your couple. Anyway, keep that romance let slowly the hate that you keep will missing away, and your couple was so softened that it can change the nature that you hate from your couple.

This love-hate relationship does not seem like a serious problem in relationships. But, again, if you can “just love”, why should there be hate for your couple, anyway? Do not be forced any problems in the relationship will exist by itself, so do not be contrived-make than be a burden yourself, right?

When Love-Hate Relationship With Boyfriend Not Always Funny

love rellationship photoLove-hate relationship is indeed funny-funny. You know you love your boyfriend, but there are also one or two things about him that you really do not like and often irritate you. Well, deep down you know you do not accept, but your affection for him always gives strength to understand. That’s her name, love-hate relationshiop aka hate relationship but love with your boyfriend, girls.

On the one hand, yes it can be spelled funny also love-hate relationship it’s. It is as if you show that your love to him is so strong that it can overcome the annoyance that is also aimed at him for something. But the truth is, love-hate relationship is not as funny as it seems. Behind the cuteness that appears, there are complex problems that start to wake up little by little.

Your hatred for one thing from him is not lost with your affection for him. If you survive this far, it’s because you happen to always be able to just mendopolize it. But there are times when you get annoyed because of what you hate, right?

If you plan on having a long-term relationship with him, the hate is not left there. What’s with love-hate love-hate if love love your relationship can be happier?

Pre-marriage Counselling Tips Find Positivity In Your Relationship

Couples who are going through a difficult period in their relationship should consider the support of a pre-marriage counsellor or marriage counsellor to help provide them with tools for managing their challenges.

Pre-marriage counselling and marriage counselling is a process of identifying, discussing and managing the challenges couples face. Both pre-marriage counselling and marriage counselling will help emphasize improvement in communication, help resolve conflict and build positive and mutually respectful relationships.

Marriage counsellors note that positivity is an important aspect to a healthy relationship. If you work to build positivity in your relationship it will be more successful. How can you find positivity in your relationship? Pre-marriage counsellors suggest you focus on gratitude, inspiration, curiosity and humour. Couples who set positive goals, concentrate on sharing fun and meaningful experiences together, promote each others growth and development and create satisfaction and intimacy have successful, fulfilling and long-lasting relationships.

Specifically, here are 5 easy tips marriage counsellors recommend to help you find positivity in your relationship:
1.Be grateful. It sounds too simple to be true, but saying thank you to your mate will let them know you are appreciative of them. Marriage counsellors suggest you try to show your gratitude for the small and large things that your mate does on a daily basis.
2.Be playful. Humour is important to positivity. Pre-marriage counsellors recommend that when you are playful, can joke around and have fun with your partner you will feel a greater sense of connectedness to each other.
3.Be Enthusiastic. When something goes well in your life or your partners life, be enthusiastic. Marriage counsellors suggest you ask questions, show your pleasure and support and respond to your partners success in a positive way. You and your partner will feel a greater sense of satisfaction in your relationship as a result.
4.Be supportive. Pre-marriage counsellors remind couples that offering support in small ways has a great impact on your partners mood. For example, if your partner is trying to get in shape, surprising them by cooking a healthy dinner while they are working out at the gym is a small gesture that really shows your support of their steps towards a healthier lifestyle.
5.Be physical. A small touch or a hug can go a long way in providing intimacy between you and your spouse. Marriage counsellors note that small, intimate gestures can help you and your partner feel a greater sense of connectedness.

Remember, if you are considering marriage or are having problems in your relationship and need help to resolve conflicts and improve communication a qualified pre-marriage counsellor, marriage counsellor or mental health professional can help.

Titlekey Sorting Out A Damaged Relationship By Evaluating Your Self

Blaming or going into denial will cause the relationship to slowly get even worse. Believing we had nothing to accomplish with the romantic relationship becoming broken seems easier, but there are lots of reasons and issues that aren’t resolved as to how it happened.

You need to begin searching at yourself to find out what went incorrect instead of shrugging it off. Know what went wrong and learn on how to repair it prior to it gets worse.

To get the right assist and perspective from the situation, its best that you study the ebook, ‘How to obtain your Lover Back’. Honesty is really important when it comes to asking yourself the questions.

No one in a relationship is ideal, so stop pretending points were. You have to admit your errors in order to being fixing the broken relationship. You should answer them for yourself.

Are you getting the relationship seriously, may be the first question the e-book asks. You should believe lengthy and difficult about it. Do your actions match your intentions? The solution lies in whether or not you are taking the time to find out and dig deeper by reading, How to Fix a Damaged Romantic relationship. Move on if you aren’t significant about fixing the broken romantic relationship. To shed light on how you have been behaving in a relationship, the e-book offers much more queries that will help.

“The Ex-Recovery Interactive Journal’ offers advice via the difficult emotions and thoughts that you may be dealing with. Understanding how to fix a broken relation is an exercise which will assist you to along with your actions. The journal helps you by giving you quizzes to determine where the problem is in the relationship.

Do you long for the answers to the question on the concern of how to fix a relationship?

Astrology Indicatations For Relationship Problems

There are many factors in astrology charts to analyze whether a marriage or romantic relationship is under enough planetary stress to warrant divorce or permanent breakup. Many times an astrologer will be asked the question whether or not a relationship will break up or get back together when the love life is having problems. How will you know if these factors are in your chart?

First look at the fate of the astrology chart and see if the individual has the qualities of long term relationship. These factors are seen with fixed signs, Aquarius, Taurus, Leo and Scorpio with the personal planets, especially the Sun, Moon, Venus, and the ascendant. The next is to determine if the ruler of the 7th house of marriage and partnership is a planet in a fixed sign, and whether or not it is afflicted.

If the planet is afflicted it indicates more complications with love life and long term partnership. Your role as an astrologer is to also determine the health of Venus, the planet of love, and whether or not it is afflicted.

An affliction can be determined when there are difficult aspects to the planet you are looking at, in this case the planet that rules the seventh house and Venus. If your Venus is connected with Uranus, Saturn, Neptune or Pluto that lends a quality to the relationship that could cause certain problems in relationships when Venus undergoes stress.

The next step the astrologer will take is to determine what the astrology whether forecast is. That is to say what are the upcoming transits to your Venus and the ruler of your house of partnership. If there are difficult transits to your Venus your astrologer will be able to tell you how long they will go on, what appears to be out of balance, and what the astrology is indicating that you need to address in order to bring peace and harmony back into your love life.

In most circumstances the astrological time tables for difficult transits are usually eighteen months, with three times prominent for a month at a time of transition times to change patterns so you will be happier. Sometimes this is a permanent break up and sometimes it is a difficult phase in the relationship as you work through issues.

Astrology can help you know when these time frames are, whether or not the compatibility between you and your lover is strong enough to whether the astrological factors, and what you can do to respect the change needed from within.

When you learn astrology and become your own astrologer you have the tools and wisdom needed to understand difficult phases in life and how best to work with the energy of the planets to have the life you want.

Ex Girlfriend Back Quick Tips That Will Guarantee A Robust Relationship

After a break up, most individuals wish to know easy methods to get your ex girlfriend back. While it’s pure to feel panic at the prospects of shedding the girlfriend, you have to be careful to avoid making some frequent mistakes.

Never blame her for anything she might have accomplished to you. Take some duty on your actions and concentrate on areas the place you may approve. Was it one thing such as you the place easy to anger or you could not management your temper? It may be a good idea to enroll in some lessons to handle this.

Yeah, I do know what you’re pondering, but do you really want the connection that you simply had again, or you need a better relationship along with her while you get her back? If you happen to ask me, I would say you want your love back, you want the person who was your girlfriend back, you want to be together again with her but I actually do not think you need the same relationship back.

Before we continue, ask your self, do I really need to win my girlfriend back, or should I be getting over her? OK, now that we have establish what you need to really do, let’s discover the ways to win your ex back. We will explore a few methods on the right way to get your ex girlfriend back. I will present you the right way to win your ex again with out making your self look weak and wussy.

Do not…I repeat…Don’t start an argument with your ex. Simply tell her how you truthfully really feel and let her do the same. You could be surprise about how a lot you guys don’t learn about each other. But Wait. We don’t even know if you happen to can even get your ex girlfriend back

After all that, I used to be able to slowly get her back. I’m happier than I’ve ever been. In the event you’re serious about getting your ex again, that you must see the last word process to getting them back. Observe the hyperlink below to see this process.

You might find out there was a misunderstanding that cause things to get out of hand. In that case I can understand you being depressing and wanting to sort things and get your ex girlfriend back. I know that you may want the finest or sexiest individual to make others jealous or to need you back. Nevertheless seems to be are under rated when you must lose your self-respect.

To get your ex girlfriend back, requires persistence, because the worst factor you can do is be a push over, hasty nut head or a wuss. Girls hate wuss, and I don’t care how much feelings you still have for her, you have to look sturdy and in control.

Are You In A One-sided Relationship – Are You Still You After All This Time

While some people can immediately identify a person with whom they would never be compatible, many suffer from low self-esteem and end up changing their own personalities, wants and actions to fit their partner. It is true that almost any successful relationship requires a certain amount of flexibility and compromise; but if a person is required to alter themselves greatly in order to maintain the relationship often something is wrong. The changes that occur in many of these cases can be so subtle and over such a great length of time, that often the people changing are unaware of how different they have become.
In order to understand how a person can be involved in such a relationship, it is important to remember that many of the people who experience this had a problem before the relationship began:

Insecurity: Many people in our society suffer from one form of insecurity or another; abnormal physical traits; lack of proper education; difficulty with communication and poor support network are just a few of the causes of such feelings. In order to have a strong enough sense of self that a person would never allow themselves to be overhauled by another person they must, for the most part, like who they are. The image that many people have of themselves is a very poor one and this makes it easy for others to prey upon their weakness. Unfortunately, in many cases, the addition of a stronger partner allows the more insecure person to hang all of their self esteem on the fact that their partner would have them; this is not a healthy way to depend on another person for support and in most cases will lead to disaster as it does not usually help to create strength and confidence.

Psychological Damage: A problem that often stems from an abusive relationship, a damaged psyche makes for an excellent weakness for others to prey on. We have heard this referenced many times in society by referring to the ugly duckling syndrome i.e. a person who once thought of them self as unattractive and became so used to dealing with this poor self image that when they became more attractive, by society’s standards, they did not act in the normal way an attractive person would. This by many people’s definition is an attractive person who retains a poor self image; therefore the person will have lower standards when it comes to dating. Many different types of trauma can cause a person to feel unworthy of attention and react in an unhealthy way when it received; this makes a perfect breeding ground for people who are looking for a person that they can control in a relationship; because they lack the self esteem to refuse.

Not all one-sided relationships are obvious or extreme, in fact more often the problems are numerous but very subtle. This can create an underlying feeling that something is wrong with the relationship, though many people struggle to understand exactly what that problem is. There are a few large and regular parts of relationships that are reoccurring and therefore when dominated can create an ongoing problem:

Where you live: In relationships where one person is dominant evidence of this imbalance can be seen in the home they share. The more dominant person will often choose everything from wall paint to major appliances; none of which seem to reflect the weaker person’s personality. To assume that dcor is an indication of such a relationship would not be completely accurate as in some cases one person does not have strong feelings about their belongings; however even those with little or no interest often have some reflection of their personality in their home.

What you do: Often in a one-sided relationship most or all of the activities the couple participates in revolve around one person. This allows for even greater destruction of the original, weaker partner and ultimately a great path to depression. Enduring this kind of change is difficult because not only does the weaker partner watch their own interests dissolve; but often they do not feel as close to the person they love as they cannot share their true desires with them.

Conversation: Whether you’re out with friends or staying at home in a relationship of this kind one partner rarely communicates what they are thinking or feeling. Often friends or relatives will notice when these changes occur because they can see a person retreating not just into themselves, but into their partner’s thoughts and feelings. Often the weaker partner will only speak when discussing issues that their partner finds interesting, giving up entirely on what they once find enjoyable or exciting.
If you have felt that any of these situations apply to your own relationship review this quick checklist to see some of the most typical points of view from those who observe this kind of behavior:

1.I always or often speak only about the things my partner is interested in.
2.I always or often only talk about my partner.
3.All or most of the things I do for fun I do with my partner.
4.All or most of things I do for fun are because of my partner.
5.If I look around my home I see little or no sign of my own taste.
6.When spending money on frivolous items they are usually for my partner.
7.My partner does most of the talking when we are together.
8.I do not often tell my partner how I feel.
9.My partner does not usually notice when something is bothering me.
10.My partner never or does not often compliment me.
11.I never feel happy/I only feel happy when my partner is giving me attention.
12.I have little or no interests outside of my relationship.
13.My partner does not often or never gives me gifts that are only for me.
14.My friends and/or family think that I have changed a lot since entering my relationship for the worse.
15.My other relationships have weakened since entering the one with my partner.
16.When asked what I want I usually look at my partner.
17.I no longer resemble who I was when I met my partner.
18.I tend to think of my partner before I ever think of myself.
19.I dress in the way my partner prefers even if I do not.
20.I no longer know what makes me, me.

If you find that any of these statements are true it might be a sign that either you need change your relationship, or you need to break it off. Enduring this kind of life is not healthy nor does it have much of a chance of making you happy. It is possible that your partner did not mean to become the dominant presence in your relationship and if brought to their attention they might be eager to help you become a stronger person. There are many different ways in which a person who finds themselves in this situation can change things, try to figure out what works best for you and take the necessary steps to make your life better.

Trust those who know you best: Outside of your relationship it is good to have at least one person with whom you can be honest and trust completely. Asking this person how they view your relationship and the changes that have occurred during the time you’ve been in it can be an excellent way to gain the insight required for change.

Perfection Reflection: Write down what you believe the basics are for an ideal relationship and see how they compare with your current one. Though no relationship is perfect and they often take a great deal of work, this should be equally divided amongst both people, not hoisted onto one.

Self Image: Begin an activity or project that has nothing to do with your partner, but is something that you are interested in. As this interest grows in something outside of your relationship you might find a little of the old you returns. Learn to like who you are and the wonderful qualities that make you unique; this may be difficult at first and might even require some changing (again,) but in the end you must be able to like yourself if you hope to remain who are.

Speak with your partner about how you feel: Whether or not you believe you can make your relationship work it is often helpful to tell your partner how you feel about the situation. Though you might not find the support you hoped for it is advisable to know where you partner stands on making you happy. Give your partner the opportunity to help you feel better about yourself and your relationship, or the very least know that they are a large part of how you ended up feeling the way that you do.

Without taking steps to reconstruct yourself in happier, healthier way you may never be able to enjoy life in or out of your relationship. Though it can be difficult to muster the courage to change your life, the knowledge that a happier you could exist might give you the strength need to take action. Good luck and much strength to all of you who are brave enough to take on the challenge.

A Relationship Coachs Point Of View

If you are searching for a partner or you are in a relationship at this time that could require some polishing in order to flourish, a relationship coach can offer positive changes!

One of the most popularly coached techniques of relationship coaching is the Thomas Leonard Attraction Program, which was created by one of the founders of modern day coaching. Numerous coaches just like me have adapted it into a singular and holistic coaching program for anyone searching for that special someone, or to improve a current, committed relationship.

Relationship coaches are able to provide a number of tools in for better communication, interpreting, and familiarity. By using the most current mind-body-emotions-spirit tools of neuro-language planning and emotional freedom method, Silva Mind Control and additional tools, we help couples to get over resentments as well as the release of the emotional baggage that often clouds many relationships.

Let’s take a look at these two categories and how holistic relationship coaching might be beneficial:
1. Searching for a partner (Holistic Relationship Attraction).
2. Developing a current love relationship.

Many people claim that they are looking for love and that they desire to find the right person for them. The truth of the matter is that finding and having successful relationships is much more about YOU BE-ing the right person. In being the best you that you can be, you become far more appealing to those you aspire to meet in your life.

Many people are looking for that complete match and they think that once they find him or her, life will immediately become all better (ex/. happily ever after). They attempt to use online matchmaking services and personal ads or attend parties and maybe even bars and nightclubs.

When you think about all of the things that you are DO-ing in order to meet the right person, you would be more successful concentrating on developing the inner you and your BE-ing. When you prosper on the inside, with or without a partner you become much more attractive. In your own way you are making your own charismatic and energetic field of attraction to those people and opportunities you want to attract into your life. When your concentration looks inside to ways of improving who you ARE, those you wish to draw will find you with ease.

You have most probably experienced going into a room and having a variety of reactions to the different people there. You are mindful of what its like to experience a good vibe and you only want to be around those with good vibes. We think it’s about physical attributes but in reality, there is more going on than meets the eye.

The target of holistic relationship attraction coaching is to look at and fine tune all facets of who you are including mental, physical, emotional, spiritual and energetic components. All of these characteristics of how you determine your vibe and decide how attractive you really are to others.

Holistic relationship attraction coaching is NOT about teaching you how to write personal ads or to tell you where to begin meeting new people. It is about taking a good, hard look at who you are and being able to grow and blossom in being the best you can be. You will naturally pull in compatible and wonderful people when you do this.

You can benefit from relationship coaching even if you are in an existing relationship. A gardener feeds, weeds and tends to his or her garden with patience, care and love. Even the most beautiful of gardens have weeds growing here and there and require maintenance. A good and natural gardener is attentive, recognizes changes and potential issues and is pro-active in prevention.

Gardening is always a continuous effort and not a single event. A relationship – a good one – needs the same type of continuous gardening. So, holistic relationship gardening provides clients with tools and processes with which to heal a troubled relationship. Once a relationship is improved these tools can be used to help to keep it healthy, strong and flourishing.

In a good number of relationships, communication or lack of communication and unlikely expectations are 90% of the problem. Relationship coaching provides people with plans of action and the tools they need in order to be able to deal with these challenges.

Some individuals may find that they want coaching but their mate is not open to coaching. It is still doable to make a relationship better by working on your own challenges, issues and flaws.

(Notice: helping a poor relationship because serious issues of physical or verbal abuse, rage and anger problems are likely beyond coaching and need a marriage and family therapist with specific expertise in this area.)

Why Women Sabotage A Good Relationship

It’s not uncommon for a woman to find that she has sabotaged a good relationship. If you have done this yourself in the past, then you might be wondering why that is and what you can do to change it so that it does not happen to you in your future. Sabotaging a relationship is actually pretty common and it’s not exclusive to women, though it does tend to happen a little more frequently to females than it does males. It’s not easy to try and have a relationship with someone else, and no one gives you a map or a blueprint on exactly what you need to do to make a relationship work, do they?

There are many possibilities for why someone might sabotage a relationship and we will get to a few of them in a moment. Before that, though, you want to remind yourself that you DO deserve to have a good relationship and there is no reason why that cannot happen. With the right mindset about dating, you can end up having exactly the kind of situation that you desire to have in your life.

Here are some reasons why a woman might sabotage a good relationship:

1) You feel like it is too good to be true.

There is no question that we live in a cynical world. We expect that bad things are going to happen and when they don’t.. we often wait around for the inevitable shoe to drop. You might feel as though you really do not deserve to be happy and that can cause you to expect that bad things are going to pop up. If this is the case, then you need to train yourself to think a little more positive when it comes to dating and expect that good things will happen to you and that there is no such thing as too good to be true when the situation is RIGHT.

2) You’ve learned this behavior from someone else.

Growing up, we look at other people in our lives to give us the direction and examples of what a relationship should be like. If you have modeled yourself after someone else who was always sabotaging their relationships, then it is no wonder why this seems to happen to you. This is a cycle that you CAN break, things can change, and you can learn a better way. You really do not have to stay stuck in this pattern forever.

3) Most of your relationships have been bad, so this is what you expect to happen.

If you are used to ending up with the wrong guy, with making the wrong decision about dating, then it might be the reason why you would sabotage a good relationship. We tend to live up to our own expectations, and if you expect that the relationship is going to turn sour, then it only stands to reason that you will find a way to make it happen. This is another cycle that can easily be broken.

Moving On From A Long-term Relationship

My oldest brother recently went through his second divorce, but fortunately, he did not make the same mistake during that eight-year relationship as he did in the first: tattoo his arm and back with tributes to his first wife.

Now, my brother pursued many pieces of body art after those initial tattoos, so they didn’t seem out of the ordinary, but after that marriage came to its tragic end, he was stuck with painful reminders on his very skin. This is simply one complication that can come after the end of a relationship that has lasted many years. So how can you get your life back on track?

Well, first off, if you made the same mistake my brother did, then it’s a good idea to investigate tattoo removal services in your area. Find a clinic that uses proven technology and staff with plenty of experience. In the past, having a tattoo removed could leave extensive scarring, but advances in the field have made results much smoother and more desirable. Don’t be afraid to schedule a consultation with a professional to have your specific questions answered.

Just because you want to have your tattoo wiped off your skin permanently doesn’t mean you need to be rash and dump every gift s/he has ever given, every memento, every sign that s/he was ever in your life. If the pain is too raw to allow you to make a decision right now, then pack it all away and tuck it back in the closet or put it into a storage unit. This person was a part of your life for a long time; erasing the evidence won’t change that.

You will move on eventually, but do so at your own pace. You may have a slew of friends that try to set you up, thinking you’ll be fine once you find a new romance, but be firm and clear about how you feel about this. You may even want to see a counselor to help you sort out your feelings and the next steps you need to take as you move forward with your life.
Branch out. You may shy away from hobbies that kept you occupied as a couple, which is natural, so you should explore new activities–social or not–that you can enjoy on your own. Doing so may even lead to dating opportunities in the future, but don’t go looking for new hobbies with that express purpose in mind.

The death of a long-term relationship is hard, so it’s normal to grieve. But don’t let that mourning stunt your growth as a person. See this as an opportunity to redefine yourself, and it can turn out to be a good experience in the long run.

Toxic Marriages 4 Signs That Your Relationship Is Toxic

A happy, fulfilling, romantic relationship is something many people desire and attempt to bring into their lives. A marriage in particular is an important relationship most people work very hard to protect. If both partners are committed, put forth effort, and are reasonably balanced emotionally, a successful union is definitely within reach. However, there are certain dynamics that might exist within a marriage or other intimate relationship that make a healthy union very unlikely. When certain behavior patterns cause destruction and emotional pain for one or both partners, the relationship becomes a toxic one. Here are 4 signs that your relationship is toxic:

1. There is abuse in the relationship. This may be physical or emotional abuse, and both are very damaging. If you are living with or fear the threat of physical abuse, this is a very dangerous situation. Physical abuse often escalates over time, and it is important to contact a domestic violence shelter or counselor specializing in this particular issue for specific help. There is an increased risk for harm at the time of leaving a physically abusive relationship, and it is important to create an appropriate safety plan for getting out. Emotional abuse is a pattern of criticism, punishment, and controlling behavior that causes emotional damage to the victim, and increases feelings of inferiority, incompetence, and is crazy making for the victimized partner.

2.Your husband or partner is actively abusing drugs and alcohol, and refuses to accept help or treatment for the problem. This is a very difficult situation, but the truth is that your partner is putting you and your needs in the relationship as a lower priority than achieving the next high or drink. The influence of an addictive use of substances makes it very difficult for your partner to be fully present and giving in the relationship. It can become a trap to be caught up in managing the various crises that come about in your partner’s life as a result of the substance abuse, and neglecting your own needs. Your husband or partner’s potential financial and/or legal problems resulting from the addiction can cause you serious issues as well. Your safety may even be put at risk if, for example, you get in a car with your partner after he or she has been drinking.

3.There is repeated adultery or affairs in your marriage or relationship. An affair can become a catalyst for better communication and accountability between partners and strengthen the relationship, provided both partners recommit and do not continue the adulterous behaviors. However, if the betrayals continue, there is no real foundation to rebuild trust or intimacy. In addition to the emotional pain of the betrayed spouse, there is the risk of physical illness and even death if you are intimate with someone who is not monogamous with you.

4.Your husband or partner has a personality disorder, like narcissism or sociopathy. These disorders have a specific set of symptoms, but the results can be similar for the non-disordered partner bewilderment, confusion, and hurt over the destructive actions of your partner. Unfortunately, there is little in the way of effective treatments for these disorders at this time, and the disordered partner rarely acknowledges that there is a problem to begin with. This makes the prospect for change very small.

Relationship Myths, Misconceptions And Mistakes

We all hold onto a lot of myths about what the perfect relationship is meant to be like and I, like pretty much everyone else, blames the media. I rarely see a realistic portrayal of a relationship on TV or on film. So what are the top five myths that keep you from enjoying a happy, healthy relationship?

1. Relationships are easy – well…no. They aren’t. That’s not to say they’re difficult either but lots of people seem to think that once you’ve found a partner then the hard part’s over. If you want your relationship to flourish you are going to have to tend to it. I feel an icky metaphor coming on here, but let’s just go with it relationships are like a garden. You wouldn’t dream of planting seeds and saplings in a garden and then leaving it, going on nothing but faith and hope that it would blossom into something stunning. Gardens need to be watered, weeded and pruned regularly. It’s the same with relationships.

2. My partner and I should see eye-to-eye on everything – why? The two of you are different, discreet entities with your own thoughts and feelings. You aren’t two halves of the same whole. Believing that you should both have the same views on things means you both become diminished. There’s nothing more sad than seeing someone who was vibrant and alive with opinions vanish when they enter a relationship, morphing into the person they’re dating. It’s OK to disagree on things with your partner, the key is learning how to manage those disagreements through effective, empathic communication.

3. We shouldn’t argue or row – actually, I sort of agree with this one…I don’t believe that full on shouting and slagging matches are particularly healthy but if your partner has upset you and you simply bottle it up and allow resentment to fester instead of having a constructive conversation about what’s caused you to be upset, you’re allowing a fear of confrontation to get in the way of pursuing a health relationship. Disagreements happen, your partner will upset you and you will upset your partner, of this you can be assured. But not talking about it will cause the resentment to erode your relationship.

4. Our relationship should be like…my parent’s/my bestfriend’s/how it is in the movies – comparing yourself to others is fastest route to unhappiness. You’ll never see what goes on behind closed doors in other people’s relationships, so don’t make assumptions based on your limited observations. Looking outside of yourself to find happiness is always destined to cause you heartache, you are the only person who’s responsible for your emotions, I would encourage you to pay attention to what makes you happy, give up second guessing yourself by looking at what others have and focus instead on learning about you and what makes you thrive.

5. I shouldn’t have to tell my partner what’s wrong, s/he should just know by now – whoa! Hold up a minute! If your partner does just know what you want/why you’re upset/that you’d like him (or her) to try some different moves in bed then you happen to be going out with the world’s only psychic! Your partner is not telepathic nor is he/she psychic. It doesn’t matter if you’ve been going out for months or years, you are as much of an enigma to them as they are to you. And if you reverse this statement, you’ll realise how ridiculous it sounds do you just know what’s wrong with your partner by now. I doubt it. Try and remember to be respectful towards your partner by teaching them “you”. You are always changing and growing and evolving…perhaps you need to update your partner with the most up to date information!